Thriving & Becoming Your Best Self: The Dirty Thirties


Well, well, Ms. fierce thirty-something-year-old.  Are you kicking ass in your thirties or just living? Do you love your dirty 30 years, or do they suck? There is so much going on in the world today; be aware do your part, but you can’t forget about yourself. Use this time to reflect on where you are right now and where you want to be.


If you are not in a place of bliss outside of any external issues that may be happening, you should be concerned. It is a must that you are content with your life.


And…if you aren’t; then you need to change that.


Do you remember when you were in your twenties and full of life and zestful, careless energy? When you hit your thirties, it changes and in a big way. Some women experience the change (not the fifty-year-old change-hah!), but the “I want to be successful, married with children life” or “I want the kick-ass career and powerful single gal life.”


Whichever way you go, you need to put a plan in action like right now because before you know it, you will turn thirty-nine going on 40. It goes by fast auntie speaking here, lol!   When I turned thirty, I had a bomb ass party where everybody and their mama came out. I had a custom-made outfit, hair was dope ASF, the highest-end Rose’, Vodka and Hennessey filled people’s glasses, and we partied like it was no tomorrow. My girls and I were LIT.


But then…then the next day after all the hoopla, I woke up with an epiphany. My life needed an adjustment. I wasn’t 26 anymore partying three times a week and not focused enough on my goals.


Time went by, days, months, and in my early thirties, it was an immediate blur of what the eff happened? What was I going to do with my life? I wanted to finish college. I was a single baby mama and needed to level up in my job.


Having fun was now second fiddle to me. I, the party girl, said Ty you have to get yourself together. I realized I was only existing. I started to pay attention to the people around me who were older. I saw that my aunt, who was just six years older than me, had her sh**t together and wasn’t forty yet. She had moved out of her mom’s house some years back and brought a co-op-her first property.  She got engaged, she had money in the bank with a hefty savings, and she had just got promoted at work. She was securing the bag.


I wanted to secure the bag too in every way possible in my life.


Her life made me think about what the rest of my thirties was going to be like.

I had questions.


So, what are some of the changes that occur when you hit the dirty 30?

Welp! Let’s take a peek below:

  • Some start to feel older, even though you don’t look like it. Yaasss girl yass!
  • Your body changes, and you start noticing some flaws that your mama had, and now you have the same ones (crazy how that happens!)
  • You want to change your hairstyle and get a new look.
  • You crave to have children or more children-or not!
  • You are desperate to get married because you are trying to keep up with your friends and what society tells us.
  • Mental illness appears or reappears if you are dealing with some trials and tribulations. *If this happens you should contact your doctor immediately.
  • You may experience devastating breakups
  • Your job situation may improve or not.
  • Success really starts to call your name.


Many issues and scenarios play out in your world, in your own bubble, but what do you do?



There is no list of what you should do, but what you should do is strive to be at peace and be happy. Your thirties are a phenomenal time to be alive. It is between the “I wanna have some fun phase” and the “settling into my real grown woman phase.” You choose how you want to live.


What Do you want? Whatever that is, you go out and get it so that you can live your very best life.   See this article on how to do that right here.

  • Didn’t finish college and want your AA, BA, or MA? Set your mind and get it.
  • You want your life partner and to get married and have children? Be the best version of yourself, put it out there in the universe, and it will manifest at the right time.
  • Do you want that bomb ass body and hairstyle? Work on your beauty goals and change up the game.
  • Do you need to be making a certain amount of money at your job? Know your worth and ask for that raise
  • Entrepreneurship is calling your name, then you scrutinize the type of business you want and focus and become a business owner.
  • Need to leave that toxic relationship but need help? Seek a therapist and find your way. You deserve happiness, not strife.
  • Maybe you should strengthen your marriage or relationship if its worthy. Do so and be happy and in love.


The Dirty thirties does not mean that this part of your life will always be tough even though sometimes it is. It means you get on your grind to set yourself up for the rest of your life. With prayer, meditation, focus, hard work and consistency you will make your dreams come true. You are staring at Forty and Fabulous which is right around the corner, so get it right and become the best version of yourself lovelies.



1 Comment

  1. Tiffany
    June 15, 2020 / 10:39 pm

    So true I just hit 40 years old recently and definitely wish I was more productive in my 30’s

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