Hey Boss Queens,
Be healthy and take care of yourself, but be happy with the beautiful things that make you, you.
Queen B has it right when she said, “be happy with what makes you, you.” The trolls and the haters will always be there, so you have to be hella secure in yourself. The haters even harass the fabulous Beyoncé, and always have some bullsh**t to say about her. Do you think Beyoncé cares, though? Heck no! and this is how we must be too.
Did you ever hear that saying, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder?” It means that a funky mofo cannot judge you or your beauty because of what they think is beautiful. Who the hell are they? Nobody! What a person believes is gorgeous is stuck in their mind, and if you don’t fit their status quo, it doesn’t mean you aren’t gorge.
What that person finds beautiful may not appeal to another.
You see, the problem with caring how someone perceives you is that their perception can make you believe you aren’t worthy just because you don’t fit their mold. For example, I have a male friend, Mike, who is black, and he only likes to date Latinas or light skin black women. So, a female friend of mine who is brown skin and very pretty felt slighted when my friend Mike didn’t make a move on her one day at a bar. It went something like this:
It was a Friday evening after work, and Mike and I were meeting up for drinks. My friend Kayla who knows Mike and secretly likes him, asked if she could join as well. Sure, no problem. After 20 minutes of being there, my head looked up in a gaze at my friend Kayla who walked in the bar with a grand movie star entrance. Mike looked up too, and both of us were stuck for a minute as we watched guys and girls turn their heads at Kayla. She is truly a beautiful woman.
Mike turned back to me, and we clicked our glasses, and he said, “you girls are still besties, huh?”
“yeah, that’s the homey, I responded,” wondering if he was attracted to her.
Kayla came over and gave us both hugs, Mike’s hug was a little bit more lingering, but hey it is what it is.
After some laughter and two rounds of drinks, my friend made her move. Kayla got up from her seat and stumbled on Mike a little on purpose to get his attention. (It’s a move her and I came up within our twenties-it works most of the time!)
“Oh, I’m sorry, Mike. I didn’t mean to lean on you. It must be the bubbly.” Kayla said with a sparkle in her eye as she left for the bathroom.
Mike said, “Nah, no worries, you good.” But gave me a silly little look to me. Busted!
Mike got up and said he had to go. Kissed me on my cheek, dropped a few 20’s down, and said, tell, “Kayla, I said bye.” Basically, he flew out of the restaurant.
Kayla returned pissed that he left without saying goodbye to her face and wondered why he didn’t flirt back with her or hit on her. She felt down about it and started to question her own beauty and her body image. But as the good friend I am, I helped her to see that what he thinks of her doesn’t matter and maybe she wasn’t his type. I told her what his type is. She also wondered if the tiny flirting move was too much for him. I told her it wasn’t, and I was right.
Later in the week, I had to get to the bottom of this. I asked Mike what his deal was, and he explained simply that my friend Kayla is cute, but he doesn’t think she’s hot like that. (I wanted to punch him!) She isn’t his cup of tea, and that’s his prerogative. However, just because Mike wasn’t attracted to Kayla doesn’t mean that Kayla is not attractive, or his opinion doesn’t distract from her own beauty.
Therefore, it is crucial to know who you are and know that you are beautiful no matter what anyone thinks.
Screw my friend Mike. Hey Kayla, you are BEAUTIFUL!
How to adore your damn self and see your beauty?
You must know that you are beautiful, no matter what anyone says. You must know your beauty like the back of your hand inside and out. Take a look in the mirror and name the things you like to see staring back at you.
Say them to yourself with your inner voice and then repeat them out loud. Affirmations are powerful, but you must believe them for it to work.
Make a whole list, write it down, and remember that all of us are so very different, and that is our POWER. Write it on post its and put it on your mirror so you can see it every day.
What else makes you so dope?
Ask yourself these questions:
- What is it that you love about yourself?
- What about yourself makes you proud?
- Do you have gorgeous hair?
- Do you have a pretty face?
- Does your inner light always shine?
- Are you a go-getter?
- Do you have kick-ass legs?
- Is your booty too cute?
- Do you pride yourself on your fly ass independence?
- Do you have a bomb ass sense of style?
Sis, so what makes you beautiful? Stop right now, knowing you have flaws and confidence in what makes you, you. Also, remember it doesn’t have to be physical beauty because that can be fleeting. Your beauty is well rounded.
We all have our imperfections. But I’m human, and you know, it’s important to concentrate on other qualities besides outer beauty.
Figure out all your qualities and be super confident in yourself. Know what makes you tick; know what makes you your own Queen of your life. Remember, God says, you are of perfect beauty, inside and out no matter your race or skin tone.
Know your beauty Queen, all of it, and believe it.
Before you go loves check out this post so that you don’t forget who you are. Thanks!