Sometimes men like to have their cake and eat it too and lots of it! An ex of mine who happens to be married wanted to carry on a “friendship” without his wife being privy. That is still like being a side chick or a mistress because trust and believe you will start off as a fake ass friendship and then Bam! All of a sudden, you end up on secret “friendly” dates. Right (inserts SMH emoji).
My response: Absolutely not, jerk.
I am sure most of us have been through this before when a guy is already in a committed relationship but still want to have some sort of relations. Nah dude, this is straight cheating, and I don’t want any parts of it.
Relationships can be complicated, but it is up to you to try your best NOT to make them even more complicated, especially when it comes to infidelity. A woman should always strive to be a woman of integrity and who honors herself so much that she would never play second fiddle two anyone. We are not in the business of breaking up happy homes even if it isn’t a “physical” relationship. If a guy is married or in a relationship, we should NOT entertain any relationships with him knowing he is taken whatsoever. Ladies, don’t let them hit you up in the D.M. Don’t let them send you those, “Hey, big head” texts or those, “how was your day” texts. You must tell them flat out that you will not tolerate this mess and then ignore them. This is what I had to do until the messages stopped.
If there is anyone out there that may be struggling with dealing with an ex who has someone or a new guy who is already in a relationship, please ask yourself what if it were you? What if you were the girlfriend or the wife- would you want to have to deal with your man loving up on someone else? Probably not and if you already know how it feels to be cheated on, I am sure you would certainly put the kibosh on that. When I was the one cheated o I remembered losing like 15 pounds looking frail, and I wasn’t even dressing the same. I would look all frumpy going to work, and that is so not me. Why? It was because I didn’t care anything about myself during that time. I was devastated.
Those feelings I felt, that horrid ordeal is why I would never want to break up any homes and I would hope that a woman wouldn’t want to do it to me as it is hurtful to both parties. Ladies, a man who is still lusting after his ex or yearning to continue a friendship that his partner doesn’t know about is immoral. Period. It is not appropriate to talk on the phone, text, or D.M. (direct message) on social media if his significant other is not aware of these shenanigans. You can ignore them and block them to be respectful to their relationship. Say no to the carefully disguised as platonic messages of “what’s up texts” and “how are you” texts. It is the begging of a nightmare.
You should not on any level be someone’s mistress/side chick, physically, emotionally, or even social medially! (I know that’s not a word-hah!) You don’t want to be the cause of any breakups any or a divorce. Respect yourself to remember to do the right thing and wait for the guy who you are meant to be with (and that guy will undoubtedly be available) because girlfriend just like myself, you love yourself too much to put up with cheating/adultery and there isn’t one man on this planet who is worth all of that!