Hey beautiful, the topic today is a hard one but one that must be discussed. I saw a woman’s story of the effects of being in a toxic relationship on my timeline and it resonated with me deeply. The reason being was because I was in a toxic relationship before that was very addictive and unfortunately, I thought it was “normal behavior.” I watched my mother and my stepfather fuss and fight, and I thought that’s just what parents do not know it wasn’t healthy. When I read that hapless story I felt compelled to let women know more about abusive and toxic relationships because I didn’t want anyone to go through what she went through just like myself.
It is imperative that women know their worth. Knowing your worth and value will help you to see how important you are and that your life matters, and that you shouldn’t let a man treat you poorly. Unfortunately, if you have witnessed hurtful and disrespectful relationships in your past, in your childhood, you may act out and engage in these types of relationships because this is what you know. The repetitive behaviour that can’t be unseen is what is stuck in your subconcious which signals to you, “this must be okay because it is familiar.” When I got, older and was in a toxic relationship I didn’t understand at the time that it was damaging learned behavior.
Love is not supposed to hurt ladies.
When you are in a relationship you shouldnt feel afraid of your partner. You should feel safe! You should feel secure and never feel that you have to protect and defend yourself with yoru paetner. True love is unconditional, guarded, accepting, and respectful. For further clarity, see below for understanding on how your partner can possibly be treating you poorly.
A man/partner can be abusive in the following ways:
Physically-they put their hands on you and make you feel afraid. You get slapped, pushed, or shoved. It also includes Any grabbing you up by the neck, your shoulders or grabbing on your clothes. If a man beats you, this is abuse and domestic violence love. There is no sugar coating this type of behavior, and it must end, or you can really get hurt, and in some cases, some women do not survive. You don’t want this to be you. Your life is worth more than diamonds. You are too valuable to let your partner degrade you or put their hands on you.
Mentally/Emotionally-they make you feel less than your worth by getting in your head and making you think you are worthless and aren’t a queen, a goddess who is worthy of respect. This happens by them sweet talking you and playing head games with you sometimes relying on things that you may have told them about your past like your relationship with your parents. Abusive people like this like to use what you have told them against you. Ladies, be careful of what your partners say to you because they can be playing head games to manipulate you to keep you to stay with them.
Verbally –they spew lies and threats to you to make you feel bad about yourself and make you feel so afraid that you put up with their sh*& because you want peace. Unfortunately, you trying to make peace so he doesn’t do it anymore just enables more of this bad behavior. If a man is yelling at you, calling you out your name and disrespecting you, this is the type of man that you need to walk away from because any abuse is unacceptable. Verbal abuse is dangerous too and if you may be thinking, “well, at least he/she doesn’t hit me,” get that out of your head. Just because someone hasn’t put their hands on you yet doesn’t mean they never will. Be smarter than that ladies.
If you find yourself in a relationship, a partnership where your partner is abusive in the above ways even if it’s just one of them you must muster up the strength to leave that relationship and vow that your next relationship will be healthier and that you will be happier, is this easy to do, especially when you are in love? No! It can be hard ladies and especially when you have children with them, but this is when you must think about your children so you can vow to be around for them. You should work on your self-esteem, learn to love yourself again, and go to therapy to find out why you are accepting this behavior. Some folks say that when a woman has had enough, she will know. However, sometimes, that is not good enough because, in some relationships, these relationships can end up deadly. Love yourself my sweet; learn to know your value and worth because you deserve better.
If you may need help please call 1-800-799-7233 or contact, The National Domestic Violence Helpline via this website: https://www.thehotline.org